Life After Divorce | The New Me Mom

Yesterday I couldn’t help but just cry during our time of worship at church. Sometimes we need a good cry to know we’re human. Am I right? Or they say that’s the Holy Spirit working in us. I have literally had some big things weighing on my heart lately. Big people problems that unfortunately I can’t be fully transparent about. At least not yet. There are things with my daughter and her mental health that could easily stem from her dad and mine’s divorce, other kids at school, hormones, or even just not fully understanding 4th grade. It’s a feeling that’s defeating knowing I can’t do much to help. As parents and as mother’s especially we want to help. Wholeheartedly, I wish I could take any sadness, confusion, and problems away that bring either of my children down. Yesterday my son had meltdown after meltdown, and I just couldn’t help him. We just sat on the floor until he calmed himself down long enough to come out of it. Sometimes these meltdowns are 5 minutes, and other times can go on upwards of an hour. That was yesterday. Just over an hour of inconsolable screams, hitting, and tears. Most days I say I got it while other days I wonder what God was thinking when he gave me a special needs son. I wouldn’t take back one ounce of time with my son, meltdowns or not, because 90% of the time he really is a joy to be around, but it can be a lot to bear as a parent. And for myself, I pray constantly that God will show me a way to provide for me and my family. I really could use a second job but with my son’s schedule I don’t have the flexibility to get one. The job I have at church has been the biggest blessing, but it doesn’t pay near enough to what I need to survive with two children and myself. I always say, “I got it, I can do it all by myself.” I truly can’t though.

“I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” Genesis 28:15

…remembering God is the center of it all! He is the one that takes our burdens and turns them into blessings. He is the one that turns our messes to miracles. And when it feels like everything is falling apart, He’s the one holding it all together.

Don’t get me wrong. I have so much to be thankful for. This year has been amazing with the hidden blessings. And sometimes I feel it’s just having to be quiet enough or still enough to hear or see them in your path. Sometimes you have to do more than just coast through your everyday life and be more intentional with this life God has given you. It’s fall break where we live and as most of our town has traveled to Florida for the week, I’m sitting here at home and my house is complete wreck! It’s like a tornado ripped through all our belongings and just left a path of destruction. However, if I hear the voices or laughs of joy, I realize maybe my life isn’t as much of a mess as it perceives to be. While my son was at therapy this afternoon, I spent quality time with my daughter. And even though we spent money I know I didn’t have; it was just what we needed to have some extra one on one mom and daughter time. Sometimes you just don’t realize how much your kids need you until you aren’t together all the time. And that honestly is the saddest realization. If you’re not a divorced parent, can you imagine going 182 days a year without your children?

“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.” -unknown

https://amzn.to/3NfpdED link for “Seeing beautiful again” book