Life After Divorce | The New Me Mom

I know you’re all clenching onto your seats wondering what I’m talking about. But this is how it went. Last August I turned the big 4-0. Yup, 40-years old. I would say I was very little to not at all excited to be turning 40 being a newly divorced and single mom. Starting over in a new decade, new chapter, and new me just didn’t seem settling to me. But once my birthday hit, I kept thinking, “why was I so scared about turning 40?!” This is the best I have felt in years! Freed from the shackles that held me down in a loveless relationship to living free and finally able to live on my own terms.

I started back to school (undergrad) last August, for what I thought I wanted to major in, Creative Writing. And, well, God has a special way of turning “our” plans into what “his” plans were all along. I decided halfway through to change my major to Special Education. With having a child with special needs, it finally made perfect sense why I would choose a career to help others like my son.

Aside from these things and being in a new decade, things started falling apart. In my body I mean. From having “old lady” bladder problems to no longer seeing without my 1.25 readers, to being in the hospital just yesterday having a CT scan on my appendix. I have had to completely restrict myself on all sorts of wonders of the world like coffee, chocolate, dairy (I’m lactose intolerant so this one can’t be messed with anyhow), and alcohol. Let’s just say the fun is gone from my diet. This “New Me Mom” body has seen better days!

This summer I started in a new role at work, and it’s been so fun getting to work alongside some women who are in the same season of life raising little ones and having the same struggles as any moms do, not just single moms. No woman with children is unscathed, we all got our share of problems!

And then there’s the dating pool in your 40s. Its brutal! I did do some dating but realized what I’m willing to compromise and what I’m not for someone I don’t really know. No relationship will ever come before my kids, let’s just say that. And with my son, it’s really an uncompromising situation. You either get it or you don’t. My daughter, however, is impressionable and wants that relationship that’s like a father figure, but if it isn’t right I’m not willing to waste your time or mine and definitely not willing to risk my daughter’s emotional stability. She deserves better than that. Heck, we all do!

And lastly, the coparenting relationship. The older he gets the less he changes. I’m in that place of “lets co-parent the best we can for our kids” and he’s, eh, not quite there.

So, what does 41 look like? Bright? I hope so. I mean, I wish I could tell the future but then again it would ruin all the surprises God has in store for me and my children. I think it’s going to be great! And this body of mine, it better keep up!

“Your future is bright and filled with a living hope that will never fade away.” Proverbs 23:18