Life After Divorce | The New Me Mom

I heard this song a while ago and could only think of my kids. The words, “you and me belong together, like cold iced tea in warmer weather…we know that we don’t got much, but then again it’s just enough” the song goes on and on. Today was the epitome of this song.

It’s Labor Day and as you know we can’t do much on days like today. There are either too many people around or too much stimulation for my autistic son. Going on a vacation is out of the question, going to the local rec center to go to the splash pad is definitely questionable, and with how my son slept last night there’s no telling what could strike his mood the wrong way. We went to the playground this morning at 9:30am and no one was in sight. Came home, played around until 2pm when I asked the kids if they wanted to go to the pool and my daughter told me no, so we just sat inside all day. Yes, it was a hot day so the pool would have been a great idea, but it was definitely busy being a holiday too. Around 5:15pm I remembered I needed to run an errand before my son went to bed. We came home just about 6pm. He sees all the people at the pool and points to it (he’s non-verbal). I said, “ok but we need to go upstairs and get your swim stuff.” We rushed upstairs, my daughter got ready and so did I. When it came time to change my son’s clothes he freaked out and didn’t want to be touched. He just kept looking out the window at all the people at the pool and wanted to go so badly. I told him we just need to change, and we can go. Something so small was what set off his mood. A trigger if you will. My son doesn’t have tantrums, they go straight to meltdowns! If you’re a parent of an autistic child, you absolutely understand. It was probably about twenty minutes of him losing it, throwing things, trying to break things, screaming, and crying. The only slight visual I can give you is that if you’ve ever seen the movie Steel Magnolias, and the scene when Shelby is in the salon. That’s how I imagine my son feels. Like it’s an out of body experience that he can’t control and when he comes finally out of it, he just needs a hug and someone to tell him its ok and then he’s right back to being his happy self. Today was no different except that when he came to, he got up and walked into his room looking for his sister. I tell her all the time he looks to you as being his “constant.” Constantly with him and constantly around when he needs to switch from house to house, both mine and their dad’s house. It’s not only a lot from week to week for a neurotypical child but imagine how hard that is to process for a neurodivergent child. So, today we went into my room after his meltdown and found his sister. He didn’t want a hug and didn’t want to be touched by her but just wanted to be in the same room as her. It truly melted my heart as a mother to see. Their bond only grows stronger and stronger as they’re getting older, and I hate to think about when I’m no longer here and I hate to admit how much I do think about it. I’m just so thankful they have each other. God knew he needed her but even more she needed him. God created her to be the strong one, the advocate, the defender, and protector. All the things I have to be, God’s building her up the same way to take on the same big responsibilities.

Proverbs 22:6-11 says;

“Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he grows older, he will not abandon it. The rich rules over the poor and the borrower becomes the lenders slave. One who sows injustice will reap disaster, and the rod of fury will perish. One who is generous will be blessed, because he gives some of his food to the poor. Drive out the scoffer and strife will leave, even quarreling and dishonor will cease. One who loves purity of heart and whose speech is gracious, the King is his friend.”

I’m so proud of my daughter. She’s growing in the Christ likeness I envisioned for her and it’s the biggest blessing to see.

1 in 36 kids are diagnosed with Autism. Please be respectful of those around you. It’s hard to tell what people are going through these days. Don’t judge because if it is someone that has special needs, they can’t help it. They’re doing the best they can. Every day is a struggle for these children. So, like it says in 1 Peter 3:8…

Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.