Life After Divorce | The New Me Mom

“I feel sorry for you.” These are the words my ex-husband said to our daughter last week for having to come to work with me all week. For those of you that don’t know, I work at a church. But not just any church, its our church. We attend regularly and have for almost the last 5 years. And another reminder, my ex-husband doesn’t attend church. Not just my church but any church. Being married he was the Easter and Christmas goer, and even that was a struggle to get him to attend for those holidays. So, I was given the opportunity to bring my children with me so I could actually keep working and not stop for the summer. Huge blessing in my eyes, but for him, another reason to complain. I never have understood the angst and hatred he has for the church or the people that go. The only thing I can see it as maybe it wasn’t the “cool” thing to do when he was younger and that stigma just followed him. That’s fine if that’s the journey you’re on but don’t make my child feel bad for being a Christian or attending church. This week and next she is attending church camp and luckily its hosted by our church. When I approached my ex and asked if she could go during his week, his response was “sure but I can’t give you any money for it.” This camp is not cheap and I do get a discount for being on staff, yes but it’s still pricey for a single mom but so worth it! It’s one of my most fun things I get to be a part of all year. There is just so much joy and excitement about spreading the love of Jesus to more than 400 kids. This is her fourth year attending and my second year volunteering. And whether I volunteer or not it truly is such a fun week for anyone that gets to be a part of it.

So while at church yesterday I wrote a prayer request for my ex-husband. I pray for him so often most might still wonder why.

Pray without ceasing, and give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18

Well, its not just for him but for my children. He has them half the time so of course I want him to be a man they look up to and admire for things he says and not feel shame for how he speaks to them. But my prayer was for him to have less hate for God and to stop shaming our daughter for her spiritual journey. I have prayed for him for years so what’s one more prayer? But sometimes I wonder if it’s even working. It’s almost as if something has a hold on him so badly he can’t shake it if he tried. After listening to our sermon yesterday I had this feeling as if the enemy is still trying to take me down and hurt me after all these years.

But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good. 2 Timothy 3:1-3

And one thing that stood out to me was what our pastor said about the enemy of God.

“God has a plan for you but so does the devil.”

Wow! I just kept thinking, “you are absolutely right!” It’s so sad how the devil knows how to get to you and who to use to keep attacking you. For me it will always be my faith. And the one attacking me will always be my ex-husband. Not necessarily to me directly but through our children. And he knows that’s where it hurts. My aunt said something to me before I filed for divorce and it has continually stuck with me. “Pray until it’s done.” I wasn’t so sure how long she meant because this isn’t done. Our time as coparents isn’t over, not even close. So I will absolutely keep praying for him or until he has his “come to Jesus” moment.

But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Matthew 5:44