Life After Divorce | The New Me Mom

Speech: : the communication or expression of thoughts and feelings through spoken words.

It isn’t new news that my son is a “special needs” child. I’m told by some “he doesn’t look like he has special needs.” What does “special needs” actually look like? That comment makes me want to laugh and cringe at the person that just said those words. My son was 21 months when he was diagnosed with Level 3 Autism Spectrum Disorder. Prior to this diagnosis, at his 20 month well visit to his pediatrician, I was asked how many words he spoke. My reply “well, none.” His pediatrician telling me “he should be speaking at least 20 words”. They even asked me if I thought he was deaf because he wouldn’t respond to his name. I said “he loves music so I don’t think he is deaf.” “We don’t usually just throw the “A” word around” they said. “However he has all the signs. Non speaking being one of them.” My daughter didn’t speak more than gibberish until the age of 2 and it wasn’t until she was in a school type of setting. So in my mind I thought well maybe we get him into a school or moms day out program or just around kids his age and see if he just takes off. Quite the opposite. Through this process it was made very apparent he couldn’t speak and would act out when people didn’t understand. When he tried to communicate what he wanted all he would do was cry. And I don’t mean just a few tears, I mean crying hysterically for hours! Eventually this was becoming more disruptive and wasn’t having a positive affect on him so we had to unenroll him. At home he learned self harm by banging his head against the wall or floor or even me. This would go on for a year and even now will still happen if he’s frustrated or tired. After he was diagnosed we dove right into speech therapy. Now going twice a week for over a year. He still hasn’t said a word but communicates to where I can understand him. Last month we started watching this woman on “youtube” named Ms. Rachel. A preschool teacher turned “youtube” teacher for littles. My son started mimicking for the first time and it has completely turned our world around. My son has always loved music and needed to have it on as background noise but now I’m thinking there’s something more to this. Just in the last few weeks he can say “ba ba” for ball. “ee ee” for beep. He waves his hand three times when he wants to hear the song “Bye Bye Bye” by NSYNC. He’s clapping when he hear’s or see’s clapping. He’s also trying to imitate sounds of animals. We have an elevator in our complex and when I tell him to “press #1 or #2” he will do it as if he’s known all along and we just weren’t understanding one another. He has started using some “sign language” as well to bridge the gap. So my son might not look like a “special needs” child, which for the record that’s highly offensive to anyone that has a child with a disability, and he might not speak now and might not ever speak. But I’m doing the best as I can as his mother to “listen” to him the best way I know how. With patience, calmness, kindess, understanding.

So as a disclaimer, in the future if you hear of someone having autism or special needs, proceed with caution. And before you speak educate yourself. Even the slightest words you think are appropriate can be very harmful and offensive.

“Little children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:18