Life After Divorce | The New Me Mom

The elephant… divorce. I’m a divorcé now. Never thought I’d be saying that as I never believed in divorce. I grew up thinking if I was married it would be for forever because it was hammered in my head or I would be going to hell if I got divorced. As silly as it sounds it was what held me back for years on taking the plunge and saying “I’m not gonna take it anymore!” I had to do some serious soul searching, therapy, looking at how my situation truly was and impacted my life and my kids. I even found a passage in the Bible that says if you’re married to an unbeliever it’s ok in the eyes of God to divorce. That was it for me to make me feel like it was gonna be ok. Jesus would take me back after all of it. Is there shame still? Of course! It’s like a scarlet letter on my body as it’s all still fresh and new.

The “unbeliever”? Well he knew I didn’t believe in divorce and would do anything reckless because it didn’t matter in his eyes. He knew I was never leaving. The “unbeliever” told me he was a Christian when we got together. Years into our marriage it evolved into that he was atheist, agnostic, Episcopalian. The guy had no idea who he was or what he believed! During the final months of our divorce he would come to church just to get under my skin. We attend a Baptist church although he would never admit to anyone else he attended a church or the baptist denomination for that matter. He would go thru the motions and tell me “I’m here to support my daughter because she loves coming.” We have been divorced for roughly 10 weeks and he has our daughter every other week. He has NEVER taken her to church on his own free will. She asks and asks and he refuses. So where is the support for your daughter now? That’s right you don’t have to “save face” for anyone anymore. The lawyers aren’t watching and the Judge doesn’t know any different than the whole ficade you portrayed on the stand while you blubbered like a baby to get sympathy. A true narcissist act.

In the end I read a quote that holds so much truth and I’ll leave you with that today…”the same red flags you ignored while you were dating are the same reasons you leave in the end.”